My Dirty Life As A Snake Oil Salesman

Well, Mike Rowe started a site called mikeroweWORKS and decided that he needed a way to fund it.  mikeroweWorks is Mike's way of supporting the trades and a resource for anyone that wants an occupation in the trades.   Yesterday, I was reading the internet and noticed that Sears and Mike Rowe were getting ready to promote a new line of clothing that advertises Dirty Jobs, Mike Rowe and MRWs.  I did a little digging on the site and realized that all of the items were IMPORTS!  So far, Mike has teamed up with Fenton Glass to produce glass items to be sold for his site.  This is fine because it means Fenton will have a way to keep more tradesmen employed and produce quality glass products to support MRWs.  It was a win-win for both and it was positive for promoting the trades.

But selling imports should not happen and gives the wrong message.  The message that we need to sell something that is not made by our trades.  Well, I can understand the complexity of trying to fund a website and Mike's Foundation but was Mike a snake oil salesman in another life?  So far, it looks like he is and he thinks people will fall for it but people are not dumb.  I wonder how long it will take for his fans to tar and feather him and send him packing?

I think Mike is the perfect salesman and QVC was the thing that started the ball rolling.  Mike made QVC $$$ for three hours at night selling fake diamonds.   He even sold dolls better than Marie Osmond. Maybe he could teach P. T. Barnum a few tricks of his trade?  Yes, Mike is a master showman and that is why he is devoted to the medium of TV and the false illusion it presents.  In real life, I'm sure its all about the money and how to create another succor.  It's unfortunate he is trying his snake oil on hard working people in the trades and trying to sell them what will kill off their trade.

Mike Rowe and Ben Franklin?

I ran across this on Mike's site,  mikeroweWORKS and had to laugh at the absurdity of the idea of Mike being compared to Benjamin Franklin. Benjamin Franklin was a man of HIS time.   Ben was a printer, inventor, scientist, writer, and a statesman of the First Continental Congress.  I'm sure Ben was well known in the colonies and he didn't have a television program to get his face out there.  I mean the absurdity of trying to compare Ben's accomplishments with Mike Rowe's accomplishments?  What are people thinking?  Mike has yet to do anything that will put him in the history books.  He loathes science and doing the real dirty work.  There is only a few things that Mike and Ben can be compared.  I don't need to explain when you read this excerpt from the Discovery forums:

There was no farting on last nights show, at least nothing audible.

To my knowledge, there has been no farting on any episode of Dirty Jobs. True, I have said the word "fart" on the air more than once, but I would never stoop so low as to actually include the sound of a fart in the program.

That is not to say that farting does not occur during filming. I can assure you, it does. Doug and Troy, our cameramen, often fart simultaneously. Chris, our audio technician, can fart on command. In fact, he's farting right now. Adam, our trusted supply coordinator, can fart with extraordinary volume, and often does. During the coal mining episode, Adam farted so loudly that several miners, believing a timber had snapped, began to scream and run from the mine. Barsky is known primarily for the odor of his farts - think of an old egg in a sweaty sock left to dry on a radiator. He also farts whenever he sneezes, which is unfortunate, given his many allergies. Barsky's farts have actually stopped production. Once, during the candy making episode, he created an order not too different from that of an electrical fire, which sent the owners into a panic. (Poor Messie Bessie thought she was having a stroke, and responded with a wail of dismay and fart of her own. Tragic, really.)

Point is, you have never heard a fart on Dirty Jobs, and likely never will. Personally, I have never farted. Not even once. But if I ever did, and found myself offended by it, I would take comfort in the wisdom of Ben Franklin, whose many thoughtful observations are printed in a very entertaining volume entitled, "Fart Proudly."

You should pick up a copy.

Mike

Mike just likes Ben's ideas.  About farting that is.  And only sees the humor behind Ben's idea of "flatulence freedom."

This is from the Benjamin Franklin House in London:

In the heart of London, just steps from famed Trafalgar Square, is Benjamin Franklin House, the world's only remaining Franklin home. For nearly sixteen years between 1757 and 1775, Dr Benjamin Franklin - scientist, diplomat, philosopher, inventor, Founding Father of the United States and more - lived behind its doors.

While lodging at 36 Craven Street, Franklin's main occupation was mediating unrest between Britain and America, but he also served as Deputy Postmaster for the Colonies; pursued his love of science (exploring bifocal spectacles, the energy-saving Franklin stove); explored health (innoculation, air baths, cures for the common cold); music (inventing the delightful glass armonica for which Mozart, Bach and Beethoven composed) and letters (articles, epitaphs, and his witty Craven Street Gazette), all while forging a hearty social life and close friendships with leading figures of the day.

So, many of the things done by Ben, Mike has  not done.  Mike has never embraced politics and has never sat in front of his window naked (would I like to see Mike try that one!).

I sincerely think that if Mike even attempted to try science, a city block would be blown off the earth.  But after posting such a wonderful photo of Mike sans cloths, maybe he can be at the forefront of the "GET NAKED PROUDLY" campaign.  I think it is catchy and will definitely get him famous. (Not like Mike hasn't gone shirtless on so many episodes, but that is another story for another day)

They call me Dirty Mike...Dirty Mike Rowe

Here is a great article that contains everything that a dirty boy would want to cross off his list.  From Scott R Girdeau of The Phillipine Star, April 1, 2009:  Dirty deeds done dirt cheap.

Mike Rowe, the host of Dirty Jobs shown on Discovery Channel, knows what it’s like to castrate sheep with his teeth. He’s scraped out garbage cans for a living, on TV. He knows the smell of maggot farms and the aroma of dead animal skulls, but the worst smell he’s encountered, he will say, is “failure.”

The reality show, which explores what it’s like to do some of the world’s least desirable jobs, starts its fourth season this April, and we had a chance to pitch phone questions to Mike (who was on location doing some godforsaken activity, no doubt) before the start of the new season of Dirty Jobs.

He’s quick to point out that he’s not the “host” of the show, the way, say, Martha Stewart hosts Living or Tyra hosts her talk show. “I’m really not so much of a host as I am a guest. I’ll continue to be a guest on the show — an apprentice, really — who shows up at these places and tries his best to keep up and learns a few things and has a few laughs, and then goes home at the end of the day.”

Some reality TV hosts wrestle gators or chew into antelope marrow to sustain themselves in the wild. Mike Rowe shows that there’s dignity, curiosity, maybe even wonder in the less celebrated jobs out there. Not that he’d like to trade places; he’s happy to shine a light on what other people do.

“I grew up on a farm,” recalls Rowe. “My parents were fisherman and farmers, and most of the people in my family were tradesmen, and by the time I was 12, I had seen my grandfather do just about every kind of job there was… My grandfather built the house that I was born in, really, without a blueprint. He was a mechanic, carpenter, bricklayer, plumber, electrician, pipe fitter. He was just one of those guys who knew how to do all of that stuff, and I really didn’t get that gene… So what I wanted to be, once I decided I couldn’t do those things, was anything that got me away from that sort of life.”

He did opera, off-Broadway, and entertainment shows for 20 years, and found that “it’s ironic to have a hit in, you know, 100-some countries that’s about the very kinds of jobs that I originally started trying to get away from.”

PHILIPPINE STAR: Here’s a pitch for an episode of Dirty Jobs: How about you go in and clean up A.I.G. and all the toxic waste down on Wall Street?

MIKE ROWE: Some jobs, I’m afraid, are too hideous even for me. Thank you, but no. You won’t find me in lower Manhattan any time soon. I’d need to wrap my whole self in bubble pack and detergent. It’d just be too hideous. I’d rather clean up a crime scene.

Can you tell us what is the worst combination of jobs that you could ever imagine?

Honestly, my worst nightmare would be to do the same thing day in and day out over and over again. Some people seem to be okay with doing that, and I know a lot of people do that. But the reason I got into television in general was just I couldn’t be in a car. I couldn’t take the commute, and I couldn’t sit behind a desk. I’m just terrible at that, so once I got into this, I got all the variety that I wanted.

But I think I know what you’re asking. You’re saying, you know, of the jobs I’ve done, what would be the worst one to go back to over and over. That would probably be castrating sheep with my mouth, which is something that they still do in Colorado, the way they’ve done it for centuries. Yes, biting the testicles off of a sheep is something really that you do it once and you cross it off the list, you know, If I had to go back there multiple times, I think I’d probably have to reevaluate all my career choices.

Okay, if castrating sheep is not something you want to repeat, how about jobs that you don’t mind going back to again?

You know what? There are actually more than you think because, like I’ve said, we really try and have a good time on these jobs, and so many of the people that I run into, no matter what they’re doing, you know, the surprising thing about the show is realizing, in spite of what it looks like, how much fun people are having.

I’d go back to Hawaii to harvest taro any time. I had a ball doing it. It’s hard, backbreaking work, and you’re up to your waist in muddy water, but you’re also in paradise, and the people were great, so I had a good time doing that. I had a good time working on the railroad. You know, you’re outside. It’s physical. The guys I was working with were a lot of fun. I had a good time transplanting cacti in the desert out here, the Mohave in Phoenix. Hard work, but again, you’re outside, and you’re getting exercise, and you’re having a few laughs. It’s really all pretty good.

What kind of reaction do you get from people who watch the show?

A big guy jumped off the back of his truck, ran over to me, and picked me up one time. Just a giant bear hug, and he picked me up off the ground and hugged me, and thanked me. And I said, “What are you thanking me for?” And he said, “You’ve done four different stories so far about garbage men all over the country, and I’m just really grateful.” And I said, “Why?” And he said, “Because I’m getting more action than I ever have in my whole life.” And I said, “Really?” And he said, “Oh, yes. I’m getting laid like an egg,” and then he kissed me right on the forehead and jumped on the back of his truck and went about his day.

So, yes, you know, people buy me beers. Girls come up and they, you know, they want to take care of me, and they want to wipe the schmutz off of my face and garbage men kiss me on the head, so I’m having a very strange life.

What qualifies as a “dirty job” for you?

Well, for the purposes of the show, a good dirty job has to be one that obviously has some element of dirt or grime or crap or sweat or something that smells bad attached to it. It can also be dangerous. It can also be strenuous. It’s got to be something that the vast majority of people would look at and not want to do.

But the most important quality of a good dirty job is that it has to be something that needs to be done. Take — I don’t know — a road kill picker-upper for instance is a good example of a great dirty job because nobody wants to do it. Nobody really thinks about doing it, but if the people who picked up road kill all called in sick for a week, the interstate commerce, in the United States anyway, just the trucks that roll back and forth on the highways, would basically have to stop. That’s how many dead animals wind up in the roads here. So it’s not something anybody wants to do, but it’s really, really critical to be done.

How long do you and the crew stay at each worksite?

With only a few exceptions, we can do one job in one day, so we have three cameramen and one audio guy and one spare set of hands really, so it’s seven of us all together, and we will shoot from sunup to sundown, and that’ll usually be enough time to get an entire story.

Who decides which jobs you do, and how do you do the research about them?

For the first couple of years, all the research was done by a production company in LA. We had a couple of researchers, and they did most of the groundwork. Today, virtually every idea comes in from the viewers. I went on the air about two years ago and said at the end of the show, “Look, that’s it. We’re finished. I don’t have any more ideas. I’m old. I’m tired. You know, it’s been fun. If you want to see another season, you’re going to have to send in some ideas.”

And that’s when we just got hundreds of thousands of suggestions from viewers. So the show changed into almost a mission where we would get ideas, and then suddenly just decide, ”Look, let’s just hop on a plane, and let’s go meet this person who does this thing.”

What do you hope people will take away from watching the show?

First and foremost, I hope they have a good time. In the end, for all the big themes of the show, it’s just TV, and it ought to be fun. Nowadays, people are just looking to have a laugh, really, and maybe learn a little something. If we get them that far, then I would hope ultimately that they start to maybe think a little bit about the people who actually hold civilization together and do these kinds of jobs that make polite society possible for you and me. Also, it’d be nice if I got a raise, but beyond that, not much.

For this season, what is the worst job that you’ve done and why?

I think I just did it. I was up in the Great Lakes region of the United States, just south of Canada, and I was working on a lock in Lake Superior. It’s just a giant piece of infrastructure that allows big barges full of iron ore to go from Lake Superior down into Lake Huron and then down into the States. And it was 15 degrees below zero, and we were outdoors for two days, and we all got frostbitten, and it was just a cold, cold, hard, miserable day. That’s got to be up there.

I don’t know if it’s the worst but three weeks ago, I was with an animal control guy in West Hollywood, and we were removing skunks from walls of people who lived right there on Sunset Strip, like right in the heart of Hollywood. And it’s funny, you know, because the rules in LA are so strange, when you capture a skunk or a possum or a raccoon on someone’s private property, you have to fix the hole, for instance, that the animal might have crawled through to get into the house. But after you do that, you’re required by law to release the animal back on the same property. It’s insane, but that’s what they do, so I spent a couple of days catching skunks, getting sprayed by them, doing some basic carpentry repairs on the houses, and then releasing the skunks back on the same property. So that was a long couple of days, too.

Mike, forget about the desk job. I think anyone that has the nerve to handle skunk spray is cool in my book. I've always thought you were a little stinker...

It's A Wonderful Life

I've always wondered when Mike caught the singing bug. Was it when he sang in the choir with his mother in church or was it in high school? As most people know, Fred King is one of the most important people that shaped Mike into what he is today. The person that helped him overcome a shyness that caused him to stutter and probably gave him the confidence to open up. Only people brave enough to open up their mouths and minds stayed for Fred's class.

I've also tried to think of Mike's life if Fred King was never born. Where would Mike be in life? He probably would not have crashed a QVC audition and Dirty Jobs would not have happened but for someone else. The world of dirt that he has now would just be a world of work. Mike would have ended up being a fisherman or some other noble occupation that someone in his family had done before him. Barbershop music would never be heard coming from his vocal cords.  Ford would have probably gotten Dave Barsky as a spokesman. Dashing Dave, wearing a signature ball cap, telling America "Why Ford, Why Now?" in commercials. And a legion of female fans that would be ever-present telling him he's "hot!" Dave would be the one with the hit show on Discovery and several Emmy statues used as hood ornaments. Dave just likes to pimp his ride with his endless awards. He would have created his own web site called davebarskyWORKS and the world of work would be different. Doug will win an Emmy for his painstaking video, all of which will be B roll material.  The lives that would be changed if Mike did not meet Fred.

Yeah, I can imagine life would be different without Mr King. The world would be different without Mike's singing and his dulcet voice. Even if he were never classically trained to sing, Fred still gave him the umph to try. No one would be lulled as they are now just with Mike's voice.

Here is Mike, singing on Evening Magazine at the Garden City Chorus Barbershop Harmony Society rehearsal.




Barbershop and Fred changed Mike's life.

What a wonderful life.

Mike the Writer

As everyone can tell, Mike likes to write.  And write and write.  I just came upon a blog from one of his English teachers where she writes on one of his school papers and asks Mike, "Well Mike, what's it going to be? The next Dan Rather, or the next J.D. Salinger? Pick one, and get busy."

It seems Mike is prolific in the writing department. He can give some of the most eloquent answers, especially when he wants to beat around the bush and doesn't know how to give a simple answer. Check out this masterpiece of verbose on "Why no kids":

"Interesting conversation, and a tricky topic.

The question is certainly personal, and hard to answer without casting a subtle judgment on a certain lifestyle, and probably offending a few people. But what the heck? It's a foggy morning in San Francisco, and I'm feeling verbose, and I'm quite sure that a staggering number of Moms and Dads have no business being parents.

As institutions, I have no problem with marriage or parenthood, and I enjoy kids, when they're enjoyable. But the relative ease into which parenthood can be accomplished is breathtaking, especially when you consider the conspicuous lack of qualifications required. Every other undertaking in life demands some level of proven competence or maturity - from driving a car, to owning a gun, to casting a vote, to having a drink, to building a garage on your own property. Such things require licenses, permits, and permissions. But not raising kids. No. The most difficult task a human being can embark upon - the lifelong commitment of parenthood - requires no qualification whatsoever. And yet, the default question regarding having kids is always "Why not?," and not as bluechild suggests, the far more logical, "Why?"

Personally, I've never heard a really compelling, thoughtful argument for or against parenthood. All positions, when closely examined, reveal the clever workings of our true nature. Our minds are wired to justify and defend those decisions already made, or more often, our own pre-existing condition. This is normal, I think. People with families want to feel good about their decision to have kids. And people without kids don’t want to feel as though they missed out. No one likes regret. So, to preserve the illusion of our own wisdom and sanity, we build apologetics around our current situation, and define the road not taken in a way that justifies our current state. Thus, I find myself looking at my married friends, haggard and worn, surrounded by their screaming toddlers and their petulant teenagers, ungrateful and sullen, and I feel a great sense of personal relief. Likewise, my married friends probably see me as a sad and misguided vagabond who has confused freedom with happiness, and destined to wind up alone in a cold, indifferent world.

Whatever. Envy and Pity are often two sides of the same coin, depending on the kind of day you're having. And we all spend too much time looking for validation and assurances that we haven't botched up our one chance at happiness. In the end, we all just want to feel content with the life we have, so we gravitate toward those who share our choices, and look with curiosity upon those who do not. We validate, we affirm, we reassure, and we add another page to a made-up story that helps us live with the consequences of our decisions, and answer questions like “Mike, why no kids?”

Here’s my answer. My reasoning for not having kids is due to the fact that I’m selfish. And if I ever change my mind and decide to have a family, my reasoning will be the same.



Either way, it's a dirty job."

I think he prefers to give birth to literary manuscripts.

If he had a chance I suppose he would rather be a combination of J. D. MacDonald or David Sedaris, who by the way, is an excellent satirical writer. Mike's writing is closer to Sedaris than any writer. Dan Rather is too out of it as well as Salinger. The Sedaris style is more like Mike and fits his sense of humor.

I imagine Mike sitting and writing in his journals about his life and travels but what will become of this writing?  Will his life be shelved and never read?  I've heard the best analogy of the life of a person is that each person's life is open book.  It only seems Mike is like this in real life where he is fit only to be shelved and forgotten.  His best writing is never seen and never published.  Nothing that will help us see the real person revealed on paper.  Nothing to leave to future generations.  No profound words of wisdom to impart on the masses of people that follow his celebrity.

Yeah, only if he would settle down and finally publish his life.

So, if you want to find out anything on Mike, there are just a few blogs and magazine articles that say the same thing and reveal little of what it is like, being Mike Rowe.